The Night Before the Election

November 03, 2008

‘Twas the night before the election, when all through the land
Every pollster was out asking, “Please, show us your hand”;
The voting booths were being tuned by IT folks with care,
In hopes that no glitches soon would be there;

The voters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of “no more ads!” danced in their heads;
And Obama in his jeans, and McCain in his suit,
Had just settled down for one last interview,

When out on the lawns there arose such a clatter,
We all sprang from our beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

Horns were a-honking, “Get out the vote” in the air,
Gave a sense of purpose to all who would care.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a campaign bus and fifty ol’ dears,

With the “little woman” in charge, so lively and driven ,
I knew in a moment it must be Ms. Clinton.
More rapid than Independents, her following they came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Susie, now, Karen, now Janice and Helen!
Now Janet, now Sharon, now Katie and Gretchen!
To the top of the Hill! To the top with great feeling!
Now hammer away! Hammer away! Break that glass ceiling!”

As nonvoters that before committed women did fall,
When they met with a speech, changed their views after all,
So up to the Senate the women they drove,
With a bus full of campaigners, sans Karl Rove.

And then, in a twinkling, we knew it was “no”
The chances of a woman President simply too low.
As we shook our heads sadly and were turning around,
Down the street came responsibility in with a bound.

It covered all ages, was nonpartisan,
And included “undecideds,” with no T-shirts or pins;
A bundle of “Voter Manuals,” we gave to all parties,
We started smiling again since we’re all smarties.
Our eyes — how they twinkled, our smiles, how steely!
Our convictions still strong, our incentive still equity!
Our actions were moving like a little steam train
The education of voters being our game.

Finally, Monday Night Football grabbing attention
On this, the night before such a historic election.
Our attention shifted from the voters to the telly
That shook as we cheered when their team did so badly.

When suddenly we heard from Obama and McCain,
Joe Biden and yes, Sarah Palin, again.
One more ad they dared show, one more robo-call made,
One more contact completed, one more pitch that was played.

Soon gave us to know we had one more chance,
To get out the vote and do one last dance.
To reach the undecided, that last “I’m not sure,”
To encourage all to vote, even if it’s not for her.

The game is now over, the debates out of sight.

“Now go out and vote ’cause the race is still tight!”

* Courtesy of “The Night Before Christmas,” by Clement Clarke Moore.

By:   |   November 03, 2008

3 Comments

  1. The humor is great and appreciated right now. Here in PA we are experiencing advertisement overload. This election season has been one to remember and learn from for many years to come. But as Christy so cleverly points out ( at least for us in PA with no early voting allowed) we still must vote this Tuesday. With luck, it will be all over by Wednesday. Keep us smiling, Christy!

  2. Leslie says:

    The Night Before Election was hysterical, and VERY clever. Here’s to everyone getting out the vote!

  3. Lisa says:

    Nicely done, Christy. Loved it.

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